We are a team. A single unit. We do not grant permission for one of us to do something. There is not one of us that makes decisions, controls the other, or is the boss. Do we discuss things? Yes. Do we always agree on things? No. But, it's our job to support one another and compromise in times we don't agree.
I think it's important that we each do things that we like (independently). He plays golf. I am involved in my sorority. He likes to play playstation. I like to go to the gym. He likes to buy golf "stuff". I like to buy "stuff" in general...lol.
When one of us wants to go do something (like my girls trip or his recent golf trip), we don't "let" the other one go. We talk about the idea, and then support and encourage the other to do it. Sometimes things don't always work out or we have a scheduling issue and we can't do things. But that's OK. If he's traveling for work, I have to be home to take care of the dogs. And when I'm gone on my trips, it's his job to be home and take care of the dogs. That's team work!
I don't "let" him have space in the house to put his WVU decorations. It's his house too. He can put something somewhere just as I can. Now, we talked that it would be nice to have a designated space and made him a mancave in the bonus room that he puts all the stuff that he likes. Yes, I am generally the decision maker for what goes in the rest of the house, but that doesn't mean he can't have any of "his stuff" there.
Perhaps I just married the right person for me. But I'll be damned if someone "lets" me go buy a pair of shoes or whatever it may be. I am smart enough to know how much money we make and how much money we can spend. I'm not going to run up credit card bills on "stuff" (and neither would he for that matter). We talk about big purchases, set a budget, and stick to it (or close enough...lol).
We have our own free will. But, because we support each other and see each other as our other half, we talk about things that would impact the other before making a decisions (like a trip, or buying all new furniture).
Not sure if I portrayed what I was trying to say correctly, but it is what it is. I'm beyond blessed that Will chose me to spend the rest of his life with (sucker!). I'm thankful for a supportive, encouraging and loving husband.
We vowed long ago to never go to bed mad at the other. That we will not sleep in separate rooms (or on the couch) if we are upset. I won't say we are perfect, we may still be frustrated with the other but we sleep in our bedroom together, no matter what. Our relationship is number one and we do all in our power to encourage, support and love one another.