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Anxious Much?

Generally, I'd say I have great mental health.  Thankfully I don't suffer from depression or struggle with the fact that I have CF.  I do stress out about some things that I have no control over, but nothing too bad...I think everyone gets stressed at some point, right?

I definitely have some OCD tendencies and am a germ-a-phob, so that can make me a bit anxious at times.   For example, tubs of butter can really irk me....mine is pristine without bigs hunks dug into it and we definitely don't have any crumbs in it.  I used to have a cow if I saw a nasty tub of butter, but I'm getting better! 🤣

The things that have been giving me some more anxiety mostly have to do with my house.  Granted we have almost lived in our house a year now, and we've spent a majority of that time having things done - carport, landscaping, and a swimming pool! All great things, but it makes for a lot of people around....and quite a mess!

1) I DO NOT like shoes being worn in the house.  I've gotten progressively worse about this.  I just think of all the places I go in my shoes and I don't want that in my house.  I mean public bathrooms are disgusting!!!  Yes, my dogs are on my floor, but I guarantee you they are cleaner than a public restroom.  If they get dirty feet, I clean them! It's a combo of the germs, the actual dirt being tracked in and scratching my hardwood floors.  Yes, again, I know my dogs run like maniacs and have scratched them...that is OK with me.

Just the other day we had some guys come fix something at the house and he marched straight through my house in his big old muddy boots.  I about died.  What did I do?  I locked him out and made him use the back door (which is where he needed access to anyway).  Too bitchy?  Oops!

2) I do not like letting strangers use my bathroom.  Now I'm sure you all are thinking, why would you do that?  Like I said, we've been in a construction zone for a while now.  We did have a port-a-potty in the yard for the long part of building, but not the last several weeks or so.  Then, you get asked if someone can use your bathroom.  What?  Drive 2 minutes down the road and go to Bojangles is what I want to say.  I mean if you just have to pee, guys can go behind a bush, right?  One was a lady, so we had some sympathy that she can't just whip it out and go on a bush.  So, we let her in.  BIG MISTAKE.  She took a dump, then proceeded to leave DIRTY toilet paper on the floor? OMG.  Thank God Will saw it first and cleaned it up.  I mean, don't you inspect to make sure you don't leave a mess, especially in someone else's house?  Then we had a guy ask me and all I could think was "he's got to shit".  So, I awkwardly said OK and pointed him in the direction.  He was in there for a while.  I wanted to curl up and cry.

Sure, this may seem like no big deal to some, but it totally freaks me out.  I had to go hide in my closet and do some organizing to get it out of my mind.  Not normal, right?  Thankfully we are just a few weeks away from being done around here!!!  I will have so much relief!! I can't stand the chaos, dirt everywhere, and the random people I will see in my yard.  I mean, I have to get dressed and put a bra on just to take the dogs out, cause I never know if someone will be in my back yard when I get up.

3) Dog hair drives me insane.  I could vacuum on the hour, every hour and it would still be there.  Why aren't bulldogs non-shedding?  Then they smudge my floors with drool.  I love those nasty drool balls of fur and would rather have the mess then not have them at all.  But, some days I just can't take I vacuum and vacuum again.

Another part of the gross dogs...I got home from running errands and as I was taking my shoes off (no surprise there) and I see a big ole drool smudge on my pants. 🙈  Geez, wonder who all saw that on my pants?!?!  The joys of bulldogs!

4) Everyone knows I don't like flying.  Yes, I jumped out of a plane and that was totally different!  I don't like being in a live rocket flying through the sky.  I'm getting better, but just thinking about an upcoming trip makes me anxious.  So, if I know its something I really want to do or I'm going to see someone I love more than life itself!

OK - just needed to vent.  I feel better now 😊


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